Archive for April, 2008


Let me preface this entry by saying that I don’t even know if I believe in God anymore; I certainly am not a fixture at any church.  But when I find myself weathering a particularly rough point in my life, I always think of Gethsemane and Jesus’ plight there. Jesus prayed, all alone at Gethsemane, his friends asleep, to be relieved of the pain and death that God had already decided for him. He prayed against the inevitable.

This is where I find Jesus at his most human. We all pray at Gethsemane. We all pray that God or some higher power, or just to the air in front of our faces that they will relieve the inevitable suffering that we have to endure simply as part of being human. We all sit in our darkness alone and plead that the fates be changed. The only difference being that I think few of us mere mortals would say “only as You will it” with true honesty as Jesus did.

There is a song that I think expresses this rather poignantly. It is called “Jesus was an only Son” by Bruce Springsteen. This is part of it:

In the garden at Gethsemane
He prayed for the life he’d never live,
He beseeched his Heavenly Father to remove
The cup of death from his lips

Now there’s a loss that can never be replaced,
A destination that can never be reached,
A light you’ll never find in another’s face,
A sea whose distance cannot be breached

Well Jesus kissed his mother’s hands
Whispered, “Mother, still your tears,
For remember the soul of the universe
Willed a world and it appeared.”

This story of Jesus pleading to reverse his fate is such a comfort in my own minor tragedies that still bring me to the garden, pleading. Because, unlike His own time in the garden, I know that I am not alone.


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I experimented this morning with making some pancakes I can eat. Here’s what I tried:

1.5 cups Barley Flour
0.5 cup Potato Flour
0.25 cup Tapioca Flour
3 tbsp Arrowroot Flour
2 tbsp oil
Water until it was a decent consistency

Oh man, it was BAD. I have never had anything like it. The inside of these would just NOT cook. At first, I thought I must have just had the heat way too high, but nope. I turned it down enough that they took 15 minutes to still not cook all the way through. It was bizarre. They tasted very, very potato-y, but I’m not sure what type of flour it was that caused the consistency problem. I would suspect the tapioca flour, but it seems like a common part of many commercial wheat free flour mixes. It was awful.

Once I made wheat-free “tortillas” that were much more like pancakes than this. The mix was barley flour and oat flour (which I was out of today). It was more of a “whole-wheat” taste. I’m going to keep trying to get something passable.

Now how did we choke these horrible, potato-y, doughy beasts down? Fruit sauces. Mmmm. I make a habit of freezing fruit in the summer for use in crisps. This morning I made a Huckleberry sauce with the last of my Huckleberries and a Blueberry-Cherry sauce. I just put the fruit in a pan with a little water and a pinch of sugar for the huckleberries and simmer them down to a good consistency. Mmmmm. Drown these gawd-awful things in enough of those sauces and it’s actually darn tasty! Yay for fruit!

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The last two days cleared 70 degrees. The day before that was over 60. Today, we won’t even get close to 40! I’m a huge fan of winter and am always sad to see it go, but sometimes spring gets a little ridiculous!

Our buyers did their inspection of our house this weekend and it looks like they’re really going to buy it from us! I guess this is really going to happen. What a relief…

Our latest idea for what we might do with our property, as far a small business venture, is hops. The price of hops is way up right now (to the point that our favorite brewery had to jack up the price of their beer by a quarter a pint). But even when it isn’t, it seems like a decent money-maker for the amount of work involved. We bought rhizomes for 5 different breeds of hops recently. We’ll start those this year and see how they do, which breeds do best, and whether we like it. Maybe someday we’ll ramp up to an acre or more of hops for local breweries or home-brewers. We’ve even been reading up on what it takes to get organic certification.

That’s one of the things I love about this place we’re buying. The options are pretty much only limited to what we have the time, skill and inclination to do. How lucky are we?

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Wow. So I guess this dream might really come true! We got an offer on our house and negotiated a price and everything. It was less than we were hoping to get, but their offer is not contigent on them selling a house, so that’s worth something. We still have to get through inspections, but things are really looking up!

Our agent kept saying that things will happen when they’re meant to. I always thought that was a bunch of rubbish. Things just happen, I said. I think I may have to recant. I don’t know how to view this as anything other than a huge blessing. I lead a truly charmed life.

I did have a feeling, though, that this offer would come in now. You see, I’m in San Francisco right now. My sister and I are here visiting a good friend. I thought to myself that if an offer was going to come in, it’d be while I was vacation, because then it would be a huge pain in the ass. Isn’t it nice when Murphy’s Law works to your advantage?



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